Raheema was preparing herself to leave the hospital, when her beaten up roommate suddenly asked her, and without any warmup: “Can we be friends? “
Without pausing, “I don’t want a friend, I want to love and be loved” she replied.
“But there are many spaces where you get love; friendship is love, nature is love, petting is love, parenting is love.
Love is not a quantum that you give or receive, although exchanging energy comes most vividly with physical invasion, but, love comes only when you are in a constant state of emotional exchange.
It is like being in a harmonized place, a state in which it becomes only natural to attract people, animals, flowers; even a fresh breeze will be attracted to you.
When you are in a state of love you actually are in a state of lowest energy, don’t get me wrong, it is a harmony that is full of internal energy but carries no outside negative sink, so you don’t just attract others to discharge whatever they have into you then go on and leave you, but rather they will internalize into you, be part of you and grow with you.”
“Like the sperm getting internalized into the ovum.”
“Precisely, you become one, like an embryo which grows, carrying both parts and featuring both elements and respecting each single trait of the sperm and the ovum.”
“Then, you do agree that friendship does not match to love, even the example you have so vividly described, only got materialized in your head because of the idea of love”
“Please, do not mix up two different things. I just used that example because it is closer to your way of thinking, but I can also use salt and water, sugar and tea, coffee and milk, blue and the sea, cloud and the rain, sight and sound, “
“These things are separable by heating, cooling or many other means, but an embryo cannot separate into its elements.
“That only happens if you intend to separate them, if you want to let go, and if that is the case, then you are not talking of love or friendship”
“Think of the black and white of the Ying and Yang they are not grey, they are separable.”
“True, but try and separate them, then, you lose them. That adds to the beauty of friendship, and clarifies it; each is definitely unique and delineated, yet complimentary and fulfilling to the other.
Friends stay together longer than so called lovers, because they like to stay together and yet they don’t need each other to be.
Real love is identical, when one is in a constant field of love, whatever or whoever comes or leaves, the field stays, the integrity persists.
The love that you are talking about is not love, it cannot be love if without it you’ll feel empty and hollow, it can’t be love if it only covers or shields the deep hollow below your chest bone, that hollow should be filled before you even can have anything clinging to you.
You know that hollow only fills up when you are in the field. You have to work hard to get and stay there; Some relationships, drugs, alcohol, rituals, take you momentarily there, but then when that thing disappears you are expelled out, outside the field. If you are not ready, you’ll cling so hard to that means which had transported you there, but you will not enjoy the field; you will be preoccupied and busy clinging.
Bottom line; you have to be there, in the field, alone first in order to be able to stay comfortably there.
That happens only when you are ready.
And guess what; the best relationships will happen with people, animals or even flowers that are comfortably there.
Frankly my dear, I think the smartest living entity out there is a plant.”
“So what do you want?”